An image of Lisa Marie Santoro (Photo credit: Dearlisa.org).

By: Emeli Rangel – Staff Writer

Lisa Marie Santoro was a young woman, newly graduated from Nazareth Academy, heading to college in the fall of 1994. However, Santoro was never able to attend college because the summer before her freshman year, she lost her life due to an act of relationship violence. 

As a result her father and family established a foundation to recognize Lisa’s life and to raise awareness of relationship abuse. Lisa’s father, Tom Santoro, turned this devastating experience into a learning and prevention program.

Before attending the University of Iowa, Santoro and her abusive boyfriend broke up. The boyfriend killed her after a deception he made to get her to meet with him.

Since starting the foundation, Santoro has visited many schools to raise awareness of domestic violence. In his lessons, he would make up stories and ask them to the group of girls. 

“[I ask,] ‘How many girls in this auditorium, gym, or classroom would date a guy who hit them?’ And no girl would raise their hand,” Santoro said. “[Then I ask,] ‘What happens when you’re dating a guy for six months? You’re in love with him and he’s never hit you before. Finally, he just slaps you. How many girls would break up with him?’ [and] 75% of girls raise their hands.” 

Santoro’s lessons aim to raise awareness of what abuse looks like in relationships and how it can come in different forms. He describes that not only can physical abuse happen in relationships, but so can verbal abuse and control.

Santoro wishes every young person knew two words about healthy relationships and dating violence.

“In a relationship, you need respect and trust,” Santoro said. “[For example, if] you’re gonna go out with your girlfriends Saturday night instead of being with him, he’s gotta trust you. He wants to hang with his buddies? You gotta trust him. If you or him break the trust, they break the relationship.” 

Nazareth Academy, Lisa’s alma mater, rewards a $5K scholarship annually to a young woman who is on track to attend a four-year university or college. To qualify, you must be female and a part of at least one of the clubs that Lisa participated in during high school. The qualifying clubs are cheerleading, poms, and Roadrunner Club.

For future applicants, Santoro shares how there are ways to make their application stand out in a meaningful way. 

“We look for character in the scholarship girls that we interview sometimes,” Santoro said. “It’s what they write in their essay: how meaningful it was, if Lisa inspired them, or reading about Lisa and how it takes effect.”

An annual luncheon is also held to remember Lisa’s life and recognize the most recent scholarship recipient. When the foundation first started, the luncheon was held in Santoro’s backyard. 

“The first three, four years there would be 100 people there, and I told my wife, ‘This is no fun for me,’ because I’m running in and out,” Santoro said. “I’m getting beers and sodas; I don’t have a chance to sit down and talk with anybody. So we started doing it at a banquet hall.”

Through the years, the luncheon has gained more recognition. Santoro said that crowds have ranged from about 100 to 400 people.

When talking about the future of the foundation, Santoro just hopes that it keeps growing.

“That’s the bottom line. We’d like to keep going and going,” Santoro said. “My sons and daughter-in-law have basically taken over the scholarship now. They do a lot of the work.” 

With the help of Tom Santoro, Lisa’s memory and hopes for the world will live on forever.